{s h a l o m}

simple, yet divine, revelation on the Christ.

2009-06-18T18:07:00.000-07:00

{how great it is to be loved by Him}

Today, i found rest

--the shalom rest.

under a beautiful oak tree

on top of squishy green grass

in between two parking lots

with lots of people around.

but praise the Lord

that i do not have to go to a tabernacle to encounter God

cause' the same power

that rose Christ

from the dead

lives within me.

and no matter where I am

Father

Son

and

Holy Ghost

are with me.

He is here.

And when my eyes

meet His eyes

heaven happens right here on this earth.

and we have full access

to His presence

any time

any place.

Oh how Jesus made a way

and the veil has been torn.

Beautiful, is the One

whom is worthy.

-- may you enter into His rest today.

shalom,

bjc

{you know i love you} -- artwork by david.

2009-06-06T18:42:00.000-07:00

I am pro LIFE -- an article by Matt Locket

2009-06-02T02:35:00.000-07:00

My heart is deeply grieved by the murder of late-term abortion provider George Tiller on Sunday. My prayers go out to the Tiller family for this tragic loss of life.

I AM PRO-LIFE.

Therefore, I believe that all human life is sacred, unique and precious to God. When the Lord called me directly into the pro-life movement, He first established that my posture was to be rooted and grounded in the prayer movement. As we all process this horrendous event even as the debate heats up concerning the next Supreme Court nominee and tax-paid-for abortion in health care reform I'd like to offer some encouraging words.

We are not easily reduced to prayer. We who grope toward praying today are like a city gutted by fire. The struggle against injustice has exacted from us an awful cost. In a similar period with similar struggles, Camus wrote, "There is merely bad luck in not being loved; there is tragedy in not loving. All of us, today, are dying of this tragedy. For violence and hatred dry up the heart itself; the long fight for justice exhausts the love that nevertheless gave birth to it..."

Unprotected by prayer, our social activism runs the danger of becoming self-justifying good works, as our inner resources atrophy, the wells of love run dry, and we are slowly changed into the likeness of the Beast.

Walter Wink, Engaging the Powers, p. 297-298

By "changed into the likeness of the Beast" he means to be transformed into the very thing that you set out to abolish or counteract. In the case of the pro-life movement, it is imperative that we maintain an approach that grows out of the place of prayer, love and compassion. The act of abortion is so completely and unredeemably violent that it can only be opposed in the "opposite spirit." We cannot and will not respond to violence with more violence. Only the continual atmosphere of prayer and intimacy with the Lord can keep our hearts tender in the face of injustice.

Nearly every pro-life leader has been swift to publicly denounce this heinous act perpetrated by a reportedly disturbed individual. My hope is that the media will clearly report the fact that this DOES NOT reflect the overwhelming majority of people in the pro-life movement. I believe it is the strategy of hell to frighten and derail the movement even as the polls have recently demonstrated that America is increasingly embracing a culture of life. I have a great concern that this will be used by the pro-abortion agenda and related political leaders to stifle pro-life voices when they are needed most.

Right now we are winning the debate.

Praying for a culture of life in America,

Matt Lockett
Bound4LIFE Director

lemme brag on Papa for a bit....

2009-05-06T17:07:00.000-07:00

i am completely humbled, and so completely stunned by the faithfulness of God. His kindness, His goodness, His compassion... its never ending, and He loves to love, loves to lavish blessing, loves being kind.

And before all of you, I stand here to bare witness to the faithfulness of Papa.

Earlier this year I was challenged to give. Not with the agenda of receiving, but with the agenda of being obedient to Papa and loving Him, regardless of having a computer, or a camera or money in the bank. And through this season of intense giving, i feel that the walls of my heart were and are being expanded and stretched, and that kingdom perspective was released like a flood gate in my life and the rushing waters of the Kingdom of Heaven are flooding in. I was blessed (another ridiculous Papa provision story, would love to tell you) to have gone to the OneThing conference in Missouri at the International House of Prayer (IHOP) in late december early january. And whilst being there, in a God way, Papa just got in my face and started challenging everything in my life, and speaking so clearly to me that if I say "yes" to Him, yes to the fullness of God in my life, its going to cost me everything. Im not talking about salvation-- which that indeed costs you everything, but that in which you gain makes it not even a question of it being worth it.. it nips all selfishness and self-righteousness right in the bud when you get down to the absolute need and desire for Jesus... but, thats for another blog- What im talking about here, is giving my everything to God, all hindrances, all distractions, all of my trust and longing. And you might be asking, "why does she have to give her stuff away, isn't the Lord just after our hearts?", and yes, completely, He is, and I think thats why a part of this giving thing has arisen in my life. I needed this. I needed Him to challenge me to give, because I was comfortable, I had a lap top and money in the bank, and a beautiful camera that I loved taking pictures with, and Papa totally blessed me with all of those things, but I think the biggest question here was "what is the state of my heart?" and the Lord hit it spot on. At any point, we need to be ready to give things away upon request. Because, ultimately, its the Lords anyways. He was cutting away and chopping off any hindrances that would keep my heart from being completely His. And challenging me and getting me to a place where He truly is enough in my life, and that He satisfies all things in me.

I have been so so blessed, and so overwhelmed by the utmost provision of the Lord. To the smallest things such as a cup of coffee, to Him providing rent and groceries for me every month, to the unexpected friend whom I havnt seen in a year, fly in for a visit on a round trip ticket for 40bucks because of forgotten air miles that the Lord reminded her to check. To a beautiful crew of people that I have the privilege of running with and start a house of prayer with. He is good, and He is most certainly God.

I am writing this, because I want Papa glorified in my life. I want to lavish praise upon Him. I want to bless Him. And, I want to stir faith in the hearts of those who are watching me live life and whom are reading this.

WE HAVE A PAPA WHO PROVIDES.

and on countless, countless occasions, I can completely testify to this.

in January, i gave my 12 inch macbook pro away to a beautiful friend in texas, 4 months later I was given a 13inch macbook. Also, the same month, I gave away my Canon Rebel XTi SLR, and just last night, i was given another camera. GLORY TO GOD!

Hear my heart, I am not writing this to boast or to tell you how im some good christian, that isnt my heart in writing this, and to be quite frank, this blog has nothing at all to do with me. God is good. And He will praised in my life. Time and time and time again I see His heavy hand of love upon my life, and it has and does and will, cost me everything, but ah, it is so worth it, not always easy, but always always worth it.

I pray that this has stirred faith in your heart, and an expectation that Papa provides, and that He will provide for your every need.

AH, to God be the glory! For He is so faithful to His own.

shalom,

brit j chaney

o dove, fly

2009-05-04T23:11:00.000-07:00

oh sweet songbird

sitting on the rock that is higher than you

sitting in the redemptive grace of love

oh how His lovingkindness is your shield and buckler

oh steadfast one,

how your heart is steadfast.

that you say within your heart,

"i will sing

and give praise!"

sweet songbird

awaiting for the morn to arise

oh how you say aloud,

"awake, my glory!

awake, lute and harp!

i will awaken the dawn."

you have made Him your pilgrimage.

there is no turning back now.

o dove, for these wings of yours,

how they were made to fly.

early do you seek Him,

the one that you love.

oh dear one, for it is time;

time to trust, and to jump;

open your wings

and trust that these gusts

of love

will sustain your soaring heart.

for His love will carry you

sweet songbird,

for you were made to fly.

JHOP-San Diego

2009-03-12T02:19:00.000-07:00

peace runs deep, deep in Him.

2009-03-10T19:38:00.000-07:00

i can breathe. oh so deeply. today feels different, today feels unlike any other day. ah, yes, today, i feel like i can breathe and bathe in the depths of grace and peace so deeply. oh the joy and restoration that comes from my Papas shalom.

bless you all this day.

God is on the throne. what a glorious day.

s h a l o m.

the {song of songs} five:two-eight

2009-03-09T19:19:00.000-07:00

I sleep, but my heart is
awake;
It is the voice of my beloved!
He knocks, saying,
"Open for me, my sister, my
love,
My dove, my perfect one;
For my head is covered with dew,
My locks with the drops of the
night."

I have taken off my robe;
How can I put it on again?
I have washed my feet;
How can I defile them?
My beloved put his hand
By the latch of the door,
And my heart yearned for
him.
I arose to open for my beloved,
And my hands dripped with
myrrh,
My fingers with liquid myrrh,
On the handles of the lock.

I opened for my beloved,
But my beloved had turned
away and was gone.
My heart leaped up when he
spoke.
I sought him, but I could not
find him;
I called him, but he gave me no
answer.

The watchmen who went about
the city found me.
They struck me, they wounded
me;
The keepers of the wall
Took my veil away from me.

I charge you, O daughters of
Jerusalem,
If you find my beloved,
That you tell him I am lovesick!

undone.

2009-03-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

I need Jesus.
I want Jesus.
I have to have Him.

its not an option anymore, I've tasted and I have seen; He is good. So good.
I have to have more. Its this desire, this craving for Him; and He always satisfies but leaves me hungry for more. a paradox? yep.

I'm a mess right now. my heart is in shambles and full of pain. my mind is more confusing than sound. and did I mention that I'm completely broken? ah. I'm in this complete valley. and often times it takes all of my strength to stand and say that I love Him even when I don't feel like it. But praise God His grace is sufficient and that it doesn't depend on my own strength. Nor does His worthiness of praise depend on my feelings.

I'm learning to not be offended by Him.

I'm learning the necessity of not being tossed by the winds of circumstances. but being rooted and grounded in His truth.

I'm learning that God isn't offended by my tears and pain and anger and frustration and sadness and lamenting and brokenness and absolute brokenness. He doesn't stop being faithful even when I am faithless. He doesn't look at me like I'm some crazy, over emotional, nagging woman. Oh, but that a broken and contrite heart He does not deny or despise. He looks at me, my mess and all, and is peering at me with His eyes of fire.
I'm learning that I need Him more than anything else. and besides Him, I desire nothing on earth.

I've been pondering......

I have been, we have been, created to be friends of God.

wow. and not only that, but the same power that rose Christ from the dead, lives in me, lives in us.

How is this affecting the way that I live?

I am broken, but my goodness, He receives me and revives me and loves on me.

ever just needed to be loved on? and ministered to?

yeah. me too.

He is closer than our skin.

praise God.

shalom.

keep hopin' St. Francis

2009-02-27T18:06:00.001-08:00

luke1:45 Blessed is she who believed, for there will be a fulfillment of those things which were told her from the Lord.”

purity siege

2009-02-04T21:57:00.000-08:00

the time is now.

2009-01-31T23:53:00.000-08:00

It seems that this day and age we have to stand and fight for truth more than ever. I am completely gripped over and over again by what this world constitutes as truth. Absolute truth. I feel like so often we water down righteousness, the gospel, moral standards and justice. And even in my own life, I do not stand to the full capacity to such knowledge of the Holiness and vastness to the God in which I plead my allegiance. It seems that this world is living in an extreme state of tolerance, partial thinking and double-mindedness. This tolerant mindset has quickly become the standard to American thinking. I do not know how to convey my heart over this cyber-world; but let me tell you this, my heart is completely breaking and aching for such knowledge of Truth, absolute truth, to fall and overwhelm this sleeping earth.

I dream about abortion, think about abortion. Over and over again my days are full of tears, lifting my voice for MERCY, contending in prayer, pleading the blood of Jesus over my sins and the sins of my nation, beckoning the heavens for strategy, asking for grace to fast and pray, praying for conviction of sin in my life, and continuously asking the question over and over again, "How can I partner with your heart O God, in the ending of abortion?" Listen, I'm not telling you this to boast, or to tell you about how I'm some radical Christian- not in the least. I am broken, weak, and selfish. But I have been radically wrecked and transformed by the power and freedom of the revelation of this all consuming God who has given me life eternal, and who has assured me that He will be perfected in my weakness. His righteousness is burning my lips, my mind, my time, my thoughts, and my entire being. So, brothers and sisters, I stand before you as a daughter who is receiving the grace from her Father to stand in the place of prayer and to fight the good fight of faith.

As a Church, WE HAVE TO STAND.

Today, a gathering of burning ones united together as a solemn assembly to build a siege outside of a porn shop contending and standing in the gap, crying out for mercy and purity. About 30 of us or so were blindfolded with linen over our eyes as a symbolic demonstration of purity. We fasted our sight for an hour, standing on the side of a highway outside of this porn shop. Standing there blind; hearing the screams of people as they drove by, the continuous honking, and noises of ridicule. Not standing there in judgement, but standing there on their(the porn shop) behalf asking for mercy.

As Christians, as followers of Truth; we are called to stand. We are called to proclaim the gospel of truth, of life, of salvation. Our God is a God who sits on the throne of justice. His heart aches when His own cry out for justice and truth. He is moved and gripped. As Shepherds; we are called to speak and to warn the people of this earth of the day of coming terror, for if we do not speak, the blood is on our hands. And in that great and terrible day, when I stand before the Lord, I am held accountable to the truth in which I was called to stand.

We must understand this Church; the Lord needs us to rise up as burning ones!

We cannot be tolerant towards tolerance. We cannot compromise truth. We cannot sit down in complacency. WE MUST NOT BE SILENT. We must rise up. We must fight for righteousness and purity. We must walk in the opposite spirit. We must be pro-life. Oh that we would be people who burn, and who hunger and thirst for righteousness.

Revival must first start within our own hearts. And purity must start in our own lives. I long for the eye of the Lord to be so heavy upon me that it burns away all of the chaff and sin that hinders me from fully pursuing the Lord.

To be completely honest and exposed, I have a fear of offending people. I shy down from truth so often out of worry of offending people, out of fear of being misunderstood, or being "too out there" or "too extreme", or by being too rigid and black and white. But the truth is, truth is offensive. Ah, my heart-cry as of late is that I would grow a backbone. I want to shout aloud truth, and to dance freely upon injustice, but by being in fear it limits the Lords movement in my life. I want steel in my spirit. I want a spirit of humble boldness. And I am asking whoever reads this, PLEASE KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE. I need accountability, because I want to be liked, and understood, and to be friends with everyone. But, I much rather have the approval of the Lord than the approval of man. So, I humbly ask that each one of you seek the Lord on behalf of your own heart; Ask Him where you really stand, and to reveal to you the depths of your heart. And I will do the same. And as the body, lets stand in UNITY with hearts after the Lord seeking truth and justice on this earth.

"the cry for mercy must sound louder now than the cry for change." lou engle

We must cry out for mercy. The Lord is coming, and this earth is sleeping. We must prepare a way for Jesus' return. We must be as ones burning in the wilderness preparing a way for the return of our Bridegroom. He needs messengers, He needs voices, He needs intercessors, He needs His Bride to rise up and make ready a people for the coming King.

Pray for:

-President Obama:

Pray for his protection. Pray that God would give him wisdom. If God could change Nebuchadnezzar by haunting him with dreams, He can change Obama. Our mandate is not to curse but to pray for those in authority (see 1Tim. 2).

-The Church to arise:

we must raise our voices and speak out for righteousness. We must preach it, pray it, prophesy it, praise it and print it until the forces of hell cannot hold back the Word of life.

isaiah 60:1 Arise, shine, for your light has come,
and the glory of the Lord has risen upon you.
2 For behold, darkness shall cover the earth,
and thick darkness the peoples;
but the Lord will arise upon you,
and his glory will be seen upon you.
3 And nations shall come to your light,
and kings to the brightness of your rising.

- The ending of abortion:

God will not turn a deaf ear to 50 million cries from aborted children and the cries from millions of women who have suffered the effects of abortion.

pray,

Jesus, I plead your blood over my sins,

and the sins of my nation,

God, end abortion,

an send revival to america.

"There is a principle above everything that is political, and when I reflect on the command that says, 'thou shall do no murder' believing the authority to be divine, how can I dare to set out any reasoning of my own against it? And when we think of eternity and of the future consequences of all human conduct, what is there in this life that could make any man contradict the dictates of his conscience, the principles of justice, the laws of religion, and of God?"

-wilberforce

My prayer for us is that we would be so compelled by love for this Man Jesus that it consumes our hearts with jealous jealousy for the Lords heart to be brought forth upon this earth. He is Mercy. He is Justice. And He is coming soon.

bless you, and keep you in Jesus' name.

bjc

nothing but the blood.

2009-01-14T19:02:00.000-08:00

Jesus, I plead your BLOOD

over my sins

and the sins of my nation

God, end abortion

and send revival to America.

want to join the prayer movement? go to www.bound4life.com

oregon writings.

2008-11-04T10:40:00.000-08:00

Medford, Oregon , pony espresso

Many things are happening and changing and taking place in my life. Its been a while since I have updated those in my life, ones whom are closest to me and those whom just observe my life from a distance.

Perhaps I will give you a preface to this interesting yet simple life of mine. As of late, i'm continuously learning the profound beauty of Gods utmost intervention, and how it comes at the most perfect times in my life. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine myself, 4 months ago, sitting in this barn like building known as pony espresso (brilliant white.choc.mochas by the way) in Medford, Oregon.

Everything in me imagined Billy Scanlan and I both frolicking this big beautiful earth, hand in hand, in search of the forgotten voiceless ones in need of vocal chords. Or at least at present, be sitting in Cape Town, South Africa undergoing a photography school with our fellow PhotogenX'ers.

In the midst of my somewhat confused state of "how did I get here?", its inevitable that Gods grace is consuming me like a warm blanket. I feel it, in the deepest parts of me I feel it. His hand of mercy heavy upon my life. And His lamp that is guiding my feet as if it were day. Amidst the uncertainties there is this utmost peace dwelling in the very being of my existence. Oh the profound truth that I am never in this world alone, and that I have a Papa who loves me with an everlasting, unconditional, unfailing, perfect love.

Its hard to expose all of my depths over this cyber-world called "blog", but I will disclose as much as I can.

Over the past three months, the east coast has been my dwelling. A time full of learning to rest again, learning to breathe again. I was caught up in exhaustion of life's busy routines, as much as I love the fast paced life of DTS staffing, I found myself in much need of intervention of time to just sit before my Maker and King. Ah, and He heard my heart cry, and inclined His beautiful, faithful ear to me.

This season has been a challenging one. Struggling with condemnation, and uselessness, wondering why I wasn't out and about changing the world for Christ, or doing something that stirred the hearts of peoples. But in the midst, I felt the breath of His nearness upon my neck, and had revelation once again of His heart for the individual, me. Oh how He woos us in the secret chambers of His heart, and makes us lie down in green pastures. Praise God that He doesn't move in my knowledge or the wisdom I think I have. Like the perfect Father that He is, He knows His abundance for me, His best for me, the healthy ways of living.

I just spent about a week in California visiting the incredible Billy Scanlan. It was a much appreciated and refreshing time of exchanging dialogue, and dreaming of the higher things of God, full of endless times of coffee shop happiness. And we ourselves, finding us in the midst of a season we'd perhaps not choose for ourselves, but in complete surrender, opening our hands wide to our God. We both, are in this place of laying down and surrendering and rending our hearts regarding the future of things. And in complete honesty, its scary, but perfect all at the same time. He is currently in California waiting direction for the next steps, and not moving until He is called to do so. What a godly man, i'd say. And never in my life have I met such a man of Jesus loving passion. He is my bestfriend, and am so very thankful for him.

As for me, I am awaiting my flight back to Maui, Hawaii. Over the past few years, this painful purging has been taking place. Some seasons stronger, and harder and more intense than others, but nevertheless has been a constant in my life. And praise God for His perfect timing. I find myself in a season with no obligations, no leadership responsibilities, no demands of ministry, or tie downs to anything really. Its this surreal opening of time just to focus completely with an undivided heart and undistracted eyes. My purpose for going back to maui is simple. This word that the Lord keeps speaking over my life, the word of HEALING.

So, for the next two months, I am going to Maui simply for healing. I am blessed and expectant for God to move in mighty ways in my life. I plan on attending an intense, Spirit led, inner healing school, called Elijiah House. I am still praying about the possibilities of getting a job whilst living on island, and exactly what the details of my moving there look like. During this process, I would love to keep you all updated in the processes of my life, and the beautiful hand of God upon me, and I'd be honored if you all would walk with me in this healing process.

And so it is, this season of just being still before the Lord, being exposed before the very eyes of my Creator and maintaining this posture until He releases me from His grip of healing. Its this exasperating feeling of breathing Him deep. Of just simply returning to the simplicity of Him. Oh the JOY of walking through fields, and singing aloud praise, and reading books on beds of grass, and moving and gliding in the leading of the spirit. I feel free, I feel free indeed. And I am so thankful for this selah to just know Him, more.

love love to you all.

b.j.chaney

//God is the solution

2008-10-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

lately my heart has been heavy and burdened. my mind completely restless. pondering and contemplating. dreaming and visionering. longing, praying, crying out for change. for freedom. for the Lords beautiful children of Haiti to be set free, to be released.
What if, what if we as children of God, partnered with God in His heart, in His desires for the people of this earth, of Haiti. Imagine what would happen if everyone called to the nations would say "yes". Imagine a world completely inviting and saying yes to the Kingdom of God. Imagine. Imagine hope restored, love restored, families restored, lives restored.

I cant stop thinking about this, I cannot get Haiti out of my brain. What can I do? How can I make a difference? How can WE bring the love of God to the people of Haiti? I dream about Haiti, I think about Haiti, and I cannot get the desire of going there out of my heart.

please, please, help me join up with the Lord in partnership. Help me and so many others, cry out for the beautiful, precious, chosen, worthy people of HAITI.

there is hope for Haiti.

streams in the desert.

2008-09-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

I have come to terms that God is a beautiful mystery. One in which at times I wont have the capacity or know-how to understand or even wrap my mind around, and I'm ok with that. But on this fine day, I'm learning how to marvel at His grace, and appreciate it. Its like this safety, you know, like that fine blanket, the softness of it, the largeness of it, that keeps you protected and safe and warm. I'm finding myself in the midst of my favorite place.

Its taken me a while to understand this season as a blessing. I've been grappling and complaining to no end that this is the worst season of my life, but now, with much needed Kingdom Perspective, I'm seeing it for what it is. And it is a refining season of receiving streams in the desert.

Its remarkable, the Knowledge of God, and that Jesus is wisdom, and He is our deepest need. Never before has that been more real to me. That Jesus is our greatest need, and the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Its a never ending endeavor of utmost goodness, just wrestling and chewing on the vastness of the power of God ,and still in the same moment , divulging on His intimate touch. Its a relationship unlike no other, and that's what makes Him God.

In an instant our world changes at times. Things you think you knew, or thought you knew are challenged. And then you come to the conclusion that you think you know, but you know that you don't know, but you wish you knew what you didn't. Its this ever ending wrestle of just scratching the surface of knowing stuff, and in comparison to the Lord we know a minuscule to the MAGNITUDE of His knowledge. and that revelation is so humbling.

I've often wondered to myself.. why does the Lord hide himself at times?

and why must we seek to find.

I think it simply boils down to just choosing the love of Christ, and choosing all of the beautiful mysteries of the Lord even if in our own minds we cannot understand. Its the whole trusting without seeing thing that draws us closer to intimacy with our Maker. It's believing and standing firm that God is God, and He can be trusted.

Its with a diligent search that our souls seek for Christ. This longing that groans within us, longing for our Savior to come and calm every sea, to come and settle every calamity in our lives. And with much vulnerability, I've cried and have even screamed for the same settlement. And often times we questions trials, and seasons of loneliness, of pain, of tribulation, of spiritual warfare, of separation.... but its in these times that the Lord is wooing us to His inner chambers. Where He himself is strengthening and refining and changing us.

We are caught up in His all consuming grace, and its a little intense at times.

I'm learning, in the midst of any chaotic challenge, the Lord is going through it with us. That He, my Christ, is by my side interceding for me. That He is closer to me than my skin.

His beautiful wisdom is abundant, and He knows what I can endure, and He knows the ways I will grow, and strengthen. And I proclaim that God can be trusted, even in the unknown areas of my life. Even in the midst of my groaning for this trial to be over. But I'm standing firm in the grace, in the truth of my King, that He knows just what He is doing. And to that I say yes and amen.

God reigns, and God prevails, and God justifies.

And in Him, I will never be shaken.

I will never be hungry.

I will never be thirsty.

I will never be in want.

"There is never a majestic mountain without a deep valley, and there is no birth without pain." - Daniel Crawford

-britany j. chaney

2008-08-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

It's in the place of silence that the Holy Spirit boils the truth we receive from Scripture down to its essence, reveals specific insights that are pertinent, and then applies them to our most perplexing problems and our most stubborn misconceptions. As He transforms our heart to beat in sync with His, our decisions begin to accomplish His will and we begin to reflect His character. Go ahead, try it. Open the Word of God in a peaceful place and sit in quietness before Him. In time, the Holy Spirit will illuminate a passage and it will come to life in your mind. Before you know it the knotty situation that drove you to distraction will unravel.
As you learn to "be still" in God's presence, your greatest problems will suddenly become more manageable. He will reveal Himself to you. He will calm your emotions and relieve your mind. You'll discover new direction, freedom from worry, and a fresh sense of peace.

-Mother Theresa

beautiful brokenness.

2008-08-02T19:21:00.000-07:00

oh the beautiful necessity of the Lords discipline in my life. its so needed. And so often i'm finding myself resisting the Lords faithfulness to rebuke sin in my life, or the lack of righteousness, and I put up this big fuss or cry out to Him asking Him if He even loves me. Its this place of fear in my life for rebuke. this fear of failure and not amounting to much, or anything at all. This abyss, this gaping hole in my heart really truly longing for that hard love to penetrate these desceptions of false love, and for them to be completely demolished by perfect love.

Why am I so afraid to love, to receive love. Why am I afraid to put myself fully out there, to put my heart on the line in reckless abandoned and just say "HERE I AM, I WANT TO LOVE YOU AND I RECEIVE AND WANT YOU TO LOVE ME TOO!". Everything in me fights love, and I have reached this place with the Lord and with someone else in my life where I don't want to fight anymore, and I want them in. I am more than ok wit putting everything on the line, my heart, the ministry i'm involed in, everything to just let the Lord come in, to every depth, places that I hide, every defense and lack of communication, every inch of my life and my relationships.

As I was sitting in that bath tub tonight, just crying out for the Lord to come and just penetrate these lies, insecurites, past hurts, and this disgusting independence and pride thats dwelling deep within my life. Its this wrestle in me, knowing that I need to change, and then this overwhleming question as to how. Ah, and then the lack of faith and doubt come in and I begin to ever question the entire process of "can I really be changed". But I hunger for the pentetration of this truth, of this love from my Abba that changes me, that never leaves me the same, that shows me how to love because He has first loved me. I want it. I want this transforming love that penetrates me so hard that im radicaly changed and forever healed.

I'm learning so much about radical repentence. Crying out today, from the depths, and repenting and just acknowledging the sin in my life. the sepearation in my life. the lack of kingdom perspective. the selfishness. the pride. the unforgiveness. the bitterness. the pain. the fear of the unknown. the fear of no control. the fear of abondonment. and the overwhelming fear of losing the person that I love the most on this earth. I just began crying out for the Lords beautiful intervention, for His divine presence. And something happend, something so profound within my spirit. I just began to worship Him. I began to cry just remembering His faithfulness thats never ending in my life. The way that He brings things together, for His abounding goodness that NEVER ends, never changes. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Despite my circumstances, or emotions, or frustrations.. he never changes!

Ah, I long to love the way that He does. To just love His sons and daughters the way that they deserve to be loved. Not out of my insecurities, or fear, or because of the way my father loved me growing up, or my mother, or people who have hurt me in the past. But because they are children of God!

I am desperate and broken and in such need of my Savior. The one whom never leaves and never forsakes me.

And i'm finding that He always knows what He is doing. and as Jason Upton cries out in his song "gideon".. i find myself crying out the same thing...

" I don't know what to do
but My eyes are on you"

and this is the state that i'm in. not knowing what to do, but just keeping my eyes on my Creator, on my Maker. Ah, and the truth that brings that brokennes is the fact that Abba gave His only son Jesus to die on a cross for me, in the midst of my sin, in the midst of my selfishness, in my undeserving state. And He has called me to freedom, he has called me to healing, he has called me to walk in His likeness. His love is breaking me. breaking me down. He knows me inside and out. And I long to be healed, to be set free, and I know that there is freedom in HIS presence, so Lord, I say YES AND AMEN to your freedom. Because without you, I am nothing. And without your love, I cannot love others. and I cannot love him the way he deserves.
so here I am Lord, please bring more disicpline in my life, because I long to be a woman who hungers and thirst after rightesouness and I am not ok with where I am right now. I'm here, positioning myself before, waiting and longing to be encountered by you. I want change in my life. I want your freedom in my life, and I'm not leaving your presence until you change me in your the likeness of your son.
i love you. and i trust you ABBA.
amen.

2008-07-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

Your eyes are full
Full of the future of us
The air changes as you look across
At me in that wondering way

It is as if
I knew you before we spoke
Do our hearts know something we don't?
Converging, conspiring, without giving us any say

CHORUS
You sing me to sleep
Talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief
I give the key to

You're ruining me
With secrets and gestures and looks
With sonnets in second-hand books
Playing the chords in me nobody knew how to play

CHORUS
You sing me to sleep
Talk down my walls
Look through my windows as I wait
You could be the thief
I give the key to

BRIDGE
It fits in your hand like the water in rain
Unlocks our two different selves
And shows we are the same
Rather than wait til I
Put me out for the taking
You're breaking
You're breaking
You're breaking into my heart
And I'm letting you

Your eyes are full
Full of the future of us...

-"the thief", brooke fraser

.. Jill McCloghry...

2008-06-27T13:01:00.003-07:00

I am blessed and honored to know one of the most amazing, compassionate, humble, creative, loving, kind, passionate, stander of truth, woman of God I have ever met. Her life, even though lived on an a completely different continent than me, is shining forth light, and love, and truth. She is a beautiful example of a true worshipper, a worshipper in spirt and in truth. Who lifts up high the name of Jesus, and sings in glorious adoration despite the circumstances around.

Her life, her love, her obedience is greatly impacting mine, and she truly is an example of a life surrender to just loving God, raw, God.

And I am blessed and honored to call her sister, and friend.

i love you jilly. so so much. thank you for being a bright example for me. I am forever greatful for all of the ways you have affirmed, spoke life, and have just loved me throughout the years. You are a gem me lady, and I am forever praising Abba for you!

Arakaki

2008-05-30T14:03:00.001-07:00

into the deep.

2008-05-22T18:36:00.003-07:00

sitting here, taking time, just to "be". you know those times, when you just need a moment, a minute to sit and gather thoughts scattered. Lounging here in the secret place, enjoying a beautiful cup of coffee, enjoying the rain cooling the earth.

feeling so often I can relate to the earth on a rainy day. Its that smell you can smell, the one you know, right before it rains. And you say to yourself, "its going to rain", ah, and the groaning the earth makes, almost like its opening itself up to receive the goodness thats about to downpour with much appreciation. I feel like that.. that groaning, that longing in me for the saturation of the Holy Spirit. Positioning myself, waiting, oh how the groaning comes forth, with eager anticipation of the saturation thats coming. How do I know? because I can smell the aroma of my Christ.

Waking up early yesterday morning, just sitting still, sitting in silence, again having a cup of coffee in hand. Just dreaming and thinking and writing and praying and singing... and I got so overwhelmed with a revelation that the Lord released to me... profound...
oh how many times in our lives, in my life, I only allow someone to come only so close to me, to my heart. That I place limitations of love on my life, and then, the walls go up, the defense comes out, and I push them away. too often. And then in that moment of thought, the Lord began speaking to me about the chambers of His heart, His perfect love, that has no walls, has no boundaries. And He began to speak so clearly to me, "Britany, you can go as deep in my love as you are willing to go. I will never close the doors, put up boundaries". And I was so wrecked, so challenged, that in my narrowmindedness I somehow tried to put God in my perspective and He just blew it away.

This profound revelation is changing my life.

The fact that God lets me go as deep in His love as I am willing to go. AH! I want it, I want to love him fully, I want to go deeper and deeper in Him that it transforms and shapes my love on this earth. That I would be so wrecked with the way that He loves me, that it would overflow and dump on those whom I am loving, and whom are loving me back.

and as I sit here, a few hours to myself... its hard not pondering the profound depths of the Lord, and how endless it is, and how it will take me all of eternity to discover the magnitude of the Lord. He is so personal and lets us go deep and deeper and deeper as we are willing to go.

will you go deep today?

cheers.
bc

untitled

2008-05-17T16:58:00.002-07:00

'gideon'

I don't have the power
I don't even have a clue
I don't have all the answers
I don't even have a few

But if I were really honest
And the truth were known of me
It might sound a little funny
But this is what my prayer would be

I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You
I don't know what to do
But my eyes are on You

I lift my eyes toward the Heavens
Tune my ear to Your command
Help me boast in my condition
You're the God and I'm the man

-jason upton

p.s
[this man makes me happy]

"Rise UP Burning Ones, Rise UP!"

2008-05-04T03:30:00.004-07:00

oh how Relentless He is.

full of the abundance and wisdom and love that never runs out, never goes empty.

He is so full of grace and relentless love that it blows me away and brings me to a place of utter brokenness. Something that's been flowing through this brain of mine, and slowly yet surely penetrating its way into my heart is this one sentence... "for He must increase and I must decrease". Oh how that's the utmost longing of my heart. That my King, would be so glorified so lifted high in my life, in my love, in my worship, in my relationships, in my thoughts, in my creativity, in my photography.... in everything. That I would live out of this place of kingdom perspective. Oh how I long for this to penetrate every fiber of my being, that He would burn as my First Love, my Onething. Ah, that the King of Kings would be so brightly burning in me, that people would have a taste of Jesus and be ruined for life. Oh how the Lord is longing to break this religious spirit that oh so many times keep people and myself bound from experiencing just raw Jesus.

I just want to encounter God, raw ,beautiful, relentless, gracious, God.

and so it is, this is my pursuit, this is my motivation. Just to LOVE Abba, and to minister to His heart, to worship Him in spirit and in truth, and to just return back, again and again and again to my First Love.

I'm am not okay with just sitting back. No longer will timidity have a role in my life, no longer will fear of man keep me bound from rising up as His burning one.

"RISE UP BURNING ONES, RISE UP!"

I say YES to the burning hot, fiery, WILD, zealous, contagious, love for the altogether Lovely One. Oh that I would take risks, be wild, dance, sing aloud, and just love the Lord the way he deserves to be loved.

Amen to Him, and to Him be the glory!

the PhotogenX crew

2008-04-18T18:44:00.001-07:00

The most amazing crew/peeps ever................. .