Medford, Oregon , pony espresso
Many things are happening and changing and taking place in my life. Its been a while since I have updated those in my life, ones whom are closest to me and those whom just observe my life from a distance.
Perhaps I will give you a preface to this interesting yet simple life of mine. As of late, i'm continuously learning the profound beauty of Gods utmost intervention, and how it comes at the most perfect times in my life. Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine myself, 4 months ago, sitting in this barn like building known as pony espresso (brilliant white.choc.mochas by the way) in Medford, Oregon.
Everything in me imagined Billy Scanlan and I both frolicking this big beautiful earth, hand in hand, in search of the forgotten voiceless ones in need of vocal chords. Or at least at present, be sitting in Cape Town, South Africa undergoing a photography school with our fellow PhotogenX'ers.
In the midst of my somewhat confused state of "how did I get here?", its inevitable that Gods grace is consuming me like a warm blanket. I feel it, in the deepest parts of me I feel it. His hand of mercy heavy upon my life. And His lamp that is guiding my feet as if it were day. Amidst the uncertainties there is this utmost peace dwelling in the very being of my existence. Oh the profound truth that I am never in this world alone, and that I have a Papa who loves me with an everlasting, unconditional, unfailing, perfect love.
Its hard to expose all of my depths over this cyber-world called "blog", but I will disclose as much as I can.
Over the past three months, the east coast has been my dwelling. A time full of learning to rest again, learning to breathe again. I was caught up in exhaustion of life's busy routines, as much as I love the fast paced life of DTS staffing, I found myself in much need of intervention of time to just sit before my Maker and King. Ah, and He heard my heart cry, and inclined His beautiful, faithful ear to me.
This season has been a challenging one. Struggling with condemnation, and uselessness, wondering why I wasn't out and about changing the world for Christ, or doing something that stirred the hearts of peoples. But in the midst, I felt the breath of His nearness upon my neck, and had revelation once again of His heart for the individual, me. Oh how He woos us in the secret chambers of His heart, and makes us lie down in green pastures. Praise God that He doesn't move in my knowledge or the wisdom I think I have. Like the perfect Father that He is, He knows His abundance for me, His best for me, the healthy ways of living.
I just spent about a week in California visiting the incredible Billy Scanlan. It was a much appreciated and refreshing time of exchanging dialogue, and dreaming of the higher things of God, full of endless times of coffee shop happiness. And we ourselves, finding us in the midst of a season we'd perhaps not choose for ourselves, but in complete surrender, opening our hands wide to our God. We both, are in this place of laying down and surrendering and rending our hearts regarding the future of things. And in complete honesty, its scary, but perfect all at the same time. He is currently in California waiting direction for the next steps, and not moving until He is called to do so. What a godly man, i'd say. And never in my life have I met such a man of Jesus loving passion. He is my bestfriend, and am so very thankful for him.
As for me, I am awaiting my flight back to Maui, Hawaii. Over the past few years, this painful purging has been taking place. Some seasons stronger, and harder and more intense than others, but nevertheless has been a constant in my life. And praise God for His perfect timing. I find myself in a season with no obligations, no leadership responsibilities, no demands of ministry, or tie downs to anything really. Its this surreal opening of time just to focus completely with an undivided heart and undistracted eyes. My purpose for going back to maui is simple. This word that the Lord keeps speaking over my life, the word of HEALING.
So, for the next two months, I am going to Maui simply for healing. I am blessed and expectant for God to move in mighty ways in my life. I plan on attending an intense, Spirit led, inner healing school, called Elijiah House. I am still praying about the possibilities of getting a job whilst living on island, and exactly what the details of my moving there look like. During this process, I would love to keep you all updated in the processes of my life, and the beautiful hand of God upon me, and I'd be honored if you all would walk with me in this healing process.
And so it is, this season of just being still before the Lord, being exposed before the very eyes of my Creator and maintaining this posture until He releases me from His grip of healing. Its this exasperating feeling of breathing Him deep. Of just simply returning to the simplicity of Him. Oh the JOY of walking through fields, and singing aloud praise, and reading books on beds of grass, and moving and gliding in the leading of the spirit. I feel free, I feel free indeed. And I am so thankful for this selah to just know Him, more.
love love to you all.
b.j.chaney
